Spiritual Costs of Selfishness?
A Rare Story!
The psychological costs of self-centeredness are well documented in positive psychology literature, such as greater psychological distress (anxiety and depression), poor physical health (lower immune system and increased risk of cardiovascular diseases) and compromised personal and social relationship, and lack of emotional clarity.
The biggest cost of selfishness, from spiritual standpoint, is that it prevents the development of subtle sense of discrimination and thus forestalls our spiritual growth. Being self-centered, the selfish person is not able to ‘perceive’ the universal dimension of reality. If one is preoccupied with the small ‘s’ “self” in oneself, one is not able to see the big ‘S’ “Self” in all, which is the goal of all true spirituality.
That is why all spiritual traditions enjoin performing selfless service and giving charity to purify the mind. Service, like all charity, starts at home and the best place to start the service is right at home: taking care of our aging parents.
Gurdjieff, a Russian mystic, used to say that one who cannot love one’s parents cannot love God. It is as simple as that.
A Case in Point!
Last year, I spent some time in an āshram in the state of Gujarat, India. A gentleman came to visit us, who happened to be an architect by profession. He narrated a story about a wealthy person as told by one of his Indian friend who is now a famous cardiologist in Bombay. During his medical studies in the US, this cardiologist was working with another eminent US cardiologist. This US cardiologist was famous for having a very high success rate with his heart patients. Almost all the patients he would treat would get better, except in case of a certain wealthy businessman.
The businessman did not get better at all after the prescribed treatment. This puzzled the US cardiologist. He thought long and hard about the case and could not find any loophole in his treatment. Something was interfering in the path of recovery and this famous US cardiologist could not figure out what it was.
Wanting to give it a last try, he asked the rich businessman if he could send a team of two doctors to stay at his home for the next three weeks to observe his life style. They wanted to rule out all possibilities of what might be interfering with the cure. The rich businessman readily agreed. After all, he wanted to get better.
So, two young medical doctors were sent to this person’s home to observe him 24×7. The now famous cardiologist from Bombay, who is narrating his firsthand experience to his architect friend, was one of the two doctors that were sent to the rich person home to observe his living habits.
They observed and observed but could not find any unusual behavior on the part of the rich man that could be the contributing factor to the heart disease or preventing the cure. One day, they noticed something that strange about this businessman. He was talking to someone on the phone and whenever the question of money will come, he will get very agitated. He was very very rich and getting more or less money would not have affected his wealth at all. Any yet anytime he will be talking to someone about money, he will get very agitated. Bingo! That was perhaps the clue they were looking for.
The two medical doctors reported it back to the main cardiologist who was attending the case. A meeting was arranged with the rich person and he was counseled not get agitated about money since the amount of money he already had was so much that having more money or less money would make absolutely no difference to him. The business man saw the value of the diagnosis.
In order to counter his habit of stinginess, the doctor prescribed him to give certain compulsory donations to the charities of his choice every week. After 3 months of this treatment consisting of giving mandatory donations, the businessman was 75% cured!
The cardiologist still wondered why the businessman was not cured 100%. Did they overlook something? Therefore, the same team of young doctors was sent back to the rich person’s home for further observation. The prescription of mandatory donations continued. Since the donation treatment benefitted the patient, its frequency was increased. Now the businessman was to give compulsory donations every other day.
This time, the doctors noticed something else that was interesting. Every time this businessman would give donations, he will feel a high sense of pride and superiority. This was reported back to the main cardiologist.
This behavior was analyzed and it was determined that this attitude of haughtiness was what was interfering with the complete cure.
It was recommended that the business person should feel himself lucky while giving the donations. In all true charity, it is the giver that should be humbled. After all, there are no sacrifices, only opportunities to serve.
The businessman followed the treatment for next 3 months and was completely cured!
There are many morals to this story. For one, our health is not a mere physical phenomenon; it has a psychological and spiritual basis. If we want to heal the patient—not just the disease—we should look at the totality of the circumstances attending the case.
Secondly, self-centeredness is the cause of much of our stress and suffering. It is perhaps for this reason the Gītā lays so much stress on niṣkām karma and working for the well-being of all beings (sarvabhūtahite ratāḥ: 5.25 and 12.4).
Our scriptures list six arch-enemies of mind: kāma (lust), krōdha (anger), lōbha (greed), mōha (delusion), mada (pride), and mātsarya (envy or jealousy). Belief in separate self and the resultant desire is the root of cause of it all.
Aldous Huxley calls self-centeredness “the fundamental human disability.”
Without fully overcoming this disability, the progress on the path of spirituality is at best doubtful.
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